


The darkness and loneliness

by Dear_Kat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Other, notsurehowthisworks, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23907997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dear_Kat/pseuds/Dear_Kat
Summary: Remus has lost Sirius, for good. This time he won't return and redeem himself, he is dead and Remus doesn't know how to cope with that.





	The darkness and loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so there might be some grammatical errors so please keep that in mind. I hope you enjoy this read.

Remus would have done anything to change the past, but deep down he knew that there was nothing to be done. He would have given up everything he had, even his life if it meant that he could change it all. The sense of powerlessness and the hollowness haunted him and destroyed him. He had gone through so much pain and sorrow in his lifetime and he could comprehend how he could survive this; he had once lost all of his friends and he had done it again. Sirius was gone and there was nothing that could change that. There would be no more second chances, there would be no return. His friend was gone, once and for all and there was nothing he could do to change that.

As soon as he stepped inside of 12 Grimmauld place he had felt out of place and remained silenced. Remus felt like a prisoner inside of his own body. He couldn’t move a single limb or think clearly at all. Sirius wasn’t meant to die; how could he be dead? how was it possible that he, after everything that had happened was gone? Sirius wasn’t supposed to die, he just wasn’t. There was no body to bury, the was nothing left of him, except the memories and the aching pain inside of Remus’s chest.

He could hear the others try to talk to him but he had no power in him to give them a response because he simply had nothing to say. He could think straight nor could he form a sentence without falling apart. He tried to look up from his feet but regretted it as soon as his eyes landed on the grieving faces around him.

He was certainly not alone in his grief. The sorrow and despair on the faces around him soon became too much to bear so Remus left the room and passed poor Molly Weasley who had buried her face into her husband’s chest and wept about how she’d been too hard on Sirius, and how cruel her words had been. 

Remus slowly walked the long corridors and thought about his lost friend. Remus had been more than euphoric to have regained his friend after all the puzzle pieces had been put together and the realization that everything he thought he had known had been false and Sirius was innocent. Remus no longer had to grieve that part and could instead laugh at his friend's bizarre letters he had been sent while the fugitive was on the run. How bizarre things he had done to lead the ministry away on a false trail. Remus was so happy to have his friend back with him even if things would never be as they were before. They had each other to lean on for comfort and grief; they could reminisce of the things in the past as well as mourn the loss of their friends. They had all sorts of plans to tell Harry about his parent’s legacy, but not it was all gone. 

While he walked the old and dusty corridors the memories came back and he saw Sirius fall and never get up time and time again until he thought he was going mad. He fell down on the floor and let the tears run down his face and his loud sobs echo in this house. Sirius had hated it; to be trapped in his former childhood home. It made him miserable and had made him restless, which had scared Remus since his friend could be so reckless, but he had always known that Sirius would never have put himself in danger, for Harry's sake. Though all the hardships in Sirius's life had changed him drastically he had found the tremendous amount of joy in being Harry’s godfather and he had started to become the cheerful man he once was.

It was all so unfair. Sirius wasn’t supposed to die. He deserved much more; he deserved justice. He deserved to have his name cleared, he deserved to have a long and happy life. He deserved so much more than what he got. 

A couple of hours ago he walked these hallways, but now he was gone. Had he understood what was happening? had he understood that he was going to die? Had it hurt? Had he been scared?   
There were too many questions and no answers. The darkness and loneliness had once again returned to Remus Lupin’s life. He was alone.


End file.
